Diary of an Extra

 

DAY ONE    Monday

Had rest day today from training after our convincing win over those losers from Stuarts and Lloyds. I played really well and know that the manager thought I was the best but didn’t want to tell me in front of the other players so he didn’t say anything. Don’t really know which ones on the opposition were Stuart and Lloyd but they must have a lot of friends to have a whole team to themselves.

Went out shopping today with my girlfriend Amelia and our daughter Maulden. The press were after a picture as usual but we wanted some privacy so we only phoned two newspapers to let them know we were out today to avoid any publicity. Amelia is v excited as her new single is out next Monday and she thinks it could get to the top 10 in Spain which would be good. Thinking of getting my hair cut as too many people copy the one I’ve got at the moment. 

DAY TWO     Tuesday

 Was late for training today as had to meet with Nike to discuss my new boot deal. Told the Boss was up all night with Maulden as she ill ‘ sent me home so nice to have another rest.  Went shopping for the rest of the day and then to Jamie Oliver’s new restaurant which is called Wanky. Is v trendy and far too expensive for the general public so that’s good.

DAY THREE   Wednesday

 Was late again for training but got my agent to phone and say I was at the hairdressers. Think the boss understood and sure he only threatened to drop me to make out to the others players that he’s in charge.

Amelia says if he ever dropped me we could go and play abroad but not sure I want to as they eat funny foods over there and some of them smell.

After training some of the lads stayed behind to practice as have a big game on Saturday against Vauxhall.

I went shopping. 

DAY FOUR     Thursday

 My agent has decided that since I am six months into a five-year contract I deserve a raise and should renegotiate my contract. He phoned the Boss whilst I was at training and heard the Boss call him a fucking vampire but sure he was joking. Then the Boss said I could perhaps pass more during the game but I just laughed, as I’m sure he knows I am the best player.

Amelia has been filming the video for her single today and when I got home, she said it was a work of art and she felt comfortable taking her clothes off as was essential to the plot

Went shopping 

DAY FIVE    Friday 

Arrived at the training ground this morning and there was 30 schoolchildren there waiting for my autograph ‘ sighed four and them went inside as my hand hurt from writing and if they want my signature, it’s on the calendar I’ve had done. One of the parents said something about ‘a disgrace’ so someone must have upset him.

Spent four hours practising my try celebrations at training and then felt a twinge in my leg so went to the Physio, Ken. He said he couldn’t see what it could be but told me to go home and rest it for the game tomorrow.

Went shopping.