Lots of things coming up this Christmas in The Extras range of toys – these goods are available from all good shops and lets face it, the kids today just won’t stop moaning until they wake up on Xmas Day and find Santa has left them an Extras gift. (Always think of Ratty when I see Santa – his ruddy, cheery complexion and stout figure makes him a jolly old soul and I know he like nothing more than getting into young childrens’ chimneys and then emptying his sack)
So, let’s go through the list of exciting gifts available
this year for all the family
ACTION FIGURES (£19.99)
Players available in this new range of 6” high plastic moulded toys are
STEVE MARSDEN –
Cheeky grin and lifelike receding hair makes this bloke a must for this year’s
stocking – has moveable limbs that bend the wrong way to allow him to vacate
the pitch when the team look like losing. Annoyingly loud voice can be
deactivated if required.
IAN BROWNING
– Extremely lifelike figure that boasts ‘laser eyes’ (BATTERIES
NOT INCLUDED)for that really disconcerting stare. Comes with the attachment
Clive.
BRIAN ’TODDY’ TODD - Great value as this figure has twice as much bulk as the two previous figures, and comes complete with 8” detachable tongue and smelly brown bandage – Accessories include family size cylinder of Talcum Powder and bottle of designer lager for those night when your very own Toddy will hit those clubs.
JEZ INGERFIELD - This action figure comes with that trademark confused look and 80’s bouffant hairstyle – This figure has proved very popular in Watford and rumour has it that Graham Taylor tried to sign the figure for a trial – Comes complete with mini-hypodermic needles and the other attention-seeking paraphernalia that goes with being Diabetic.
ALSO AVAILABLE:
THE EXTRAS BOARD GAME
This fantastic board game will provide fun for all the family until Boxing Day, at least.
The aim of this hilarious game is to take your chosen Extra round the board to all the Hot Spots such as The Engine, Area 51 and The Indian, whilst avoiding such pitfalls as Training and Long Term Relationships. The game has an extra dimension in that the losers have to down 14 pints of real ale before Father Abraham-ing their way through the house (Game not suitable for children under 10 and Vic)
AFTERSHAVE – ‘THE PACK’
Designed and manufactured by Calvin Klein, this scent really alerts the ladies – Based on the pungent aroma of our very own forwards, this aftershave will make you the talking point wherever you go. The musky stench of bitterness, failure and defeat will change your life
(The
Extras plc accept no responsibility for loss of job, wife or self-respect as a
result of wearing this product.)
Anyway,
that’s just a selection of the many Xmas gifts from our fine Extras range.
Other
news this week includes the return of Mick Yates who is looking for some work on
some boats or something next year…. Please contact us if you have a vacancy
for a loud-mouthed naturalised Aussie that you would like to be stuck on a boat
with for about 4 months.
See
you next week and remember, never buy tights for a mermaid.