Week Commencing 30th September

Saturday

 Today was a strange day.

 Due to the continuing legal wrangle between the BBC and Sky television as to who gets the rights to show the Extras games live on TV for the next 3 seasons, our game was cancelled. Not sure if it was some kind of bargaining tactic by the club to raise the bids, but our game against Leighton Buzzard will be played at a later date.( they were f***ing lucky)

Some of us decided to guest for other teams to ensure that we remain at peak fitness.

Liam, Steve Marsden and me guested for the thirds (on a big win bonus from the chairman Harry.) Sure enough, we made sure of victory and ran out worthy 50 – 0 winners. Was amazed by their warm up routine – lasts about 2 hours and the gorilla who leads the warm-up, he should just chill out. Saw that lazy git Marsden wander in rather than warm up – what a tart.

Liam went off injured at the end of the first half when one of his ankles gave way under his immense bulk. Shame as he was playing well but when you train as hard as The Extras do, injuries happen.

Was interesting playing for another side – the third team captain is a funny little man with a Napoleon complex but apart from that, he seemed v grateful at having the Extras help him to victory.

The rest of the results thru the club went pretty much to form – the first team ( we sometimes lend them players) lost again – remarked to them that the draw they had a few weeks ago has spoilt their 100% record this season. None of them laughed.

 That night we had a night out in Bedford – socialising with players outside the Extras isn’t something we try to encourage but they enticed us by using the win bonus as bait to get us out for the night and drink loads and loads of beers and show them how to have a good time.

 It worked.

 Sunday

 My pop star girlfriend Amelia phoned today and said that she had found someone else….apparently he’s a fitness instructor at a gym near here – I said if he was so keen on fitness, how come I’d never seen him training hard with the rest of us in The Engine?  She couldn’t answer that so definitely scored some points there.

Phoned Liam, Marsden, Trigger, Ratty, Gez, Riggs, Ray, Ray, Terry, Browning, Scouse, Pecky, Paddy, Toddy, Coddy, and a few others to set up an impromptu training session as was feeling a bit unsettled after the phone call from Amelia…Every single one of them was available after explaining to their partners and wives that training is v important

The training session went really well and love the fact that no matter how tired the extras are, The Extras can always raise themselves for a hard training session. Not everyone can drink 16 pints of beer in the name of sport but we know we’ll see the benefits on the pitch on a Saturday.

The landlord, Tony, said he had two new beautiful barmaids starting but when they arrived, we thought perhaps he’d exaggerated a bit on the beauty front. Mind you, they got more beautiful as we continued training and local Lottery winner Andy Morgan seemed to think they were lovely.

 Monday

 Not too much happening today as needed to have rest so just had a light training session with Liam and Riggs for five hours in the afternoon…Riggs remarked the some of the other teams in the club would benefit from the discipline he’d learnt in the Army – Liam asked him just how much discipline did it take to peel potatoes and Riggs started to weep softly.

As we neared the end of training, Terry Norford came in and asked Where the f**k were the sandwiches so we left as hate to see old men eat.

Tuesday & Wednesday

 Light training

 Thursday

Had to attend a team meeting today. Nike have offered us a shirt sponsorship deal for the next five years worth £2 million a year. Most of the younger players (except the Browning brothers who didn’t express an opinion either way and Trigger who ticked the ‘I Don’t Know’ box in the vote) wanted to go with Nike – The older ones were a bit confused and frightened as they don’t like change. Marsden remarked that they would probably be dead within the five years anyway but Brian Geary threw him in a dustbin so that sorted that.

In the end, Nike lost out by 9 votes to 7 – the turning point in the debate was the tearful plea from Terry to allow him the honour of having his company sponsor the fabled shirt of The Extras. That heartfelt plea, admittedly combined with a higher £ bid, won him the shirt deal.

This deal has still to be signed and formalised legally – early reports suggest a slight hitch in the small print of the contract as the captain Liam has insisted on a clause making the Jurassic Pack buy their own shirts as they make them smell of wee and basically ruin them. Have to say, I agree with him.

Friday

Starting to focus on the game tomorrow. Really want a victory to celebrate our shirt deal.

Had a light lunchtime training session and then attended Roy’s 74th leaving do in the evening.

 No sign of Amelia – must confess that a small part of me is OK with her not coming back…I’ve found a new family.